You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Some of my best friends had that experience. These are not right either. I chose to wait till marriage because I believe as scripture says that our bodies belong to God, it protects your heart both men and women!
I like people who make me better. They know who they are. We encouraged each other with waiting until marriage and also checked in on each other to see the emotional health of our relationships.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. My deepest friendships come from people who celebrate BIG with me and push me toward pursuing Jesus in all things. They heard me confess and prayed over me when I told them I felt like we were letting boundaries slip boundaries are so important! I want to stress that we were not perfect during waiting till marriage. What if you and your boyfriend or girlfriend started by asking a different question?
What are we really after in dating or in all of life? And what are we trying to secure or enjoy in this relationship?
If the honest answer is affection and intimacy, no number of boundaries can guard us completely. Also, my husband had his guy friends keep him accountable with several things including abstinence!!! Bear hugs are my favorite. Kisses on the cheek, lips, and top of my head fill me with joy. Holding hands with my man makes me feel secure and I love how small my hands are in his.
We wrote each other over letters. I still have them. We thought out really thoughtful dates for each other from booking massages to eating dinner in the Eiffel Tower to making pizzas to serving our community together. We loved each other in so many ways and learned so much about each other every time we spent time together.
He learned to really pursue me. And the best part is, he still pursues me like that. When I look at Christian couples who have been married for decades, they are still affectionate and even joke around about how great their sex lives are.
Seriously, so many authors talk about this. They are in love in a mind, body, and soul way yall. Because sex to them is more than just pleasure. Our bodies belong to our loving God.
He made us, created us all in his image, knows us better than we know ourselves. God says when a man and woman are married, they become ONE flesh. I chose to guard my heart. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Nobody wants to be withheld from anything. Whatever works for you, works for you. At Yale, it can seem like sex is everywhere. Our laundry rooms have more condoms, lube packets and dental dams than working dryers.
In between learning the campus WiFi passwords and how to bluebook, part of first-year orientation involves watching CHEs slide a condom onto a wooden phallus.
The school newspaper even has an entire column dedicated to sex! For the most part — or at least in my experience — people can talk about their sexual experiences without feeling shame.
We have the freedom to seek intimacy and explore our sexualities without public judgement. This campus has been an environment for me to explore sexual relationships I have not been able to explore in other spaces. I no longer believed in the validity or assumed perfection of the Christian religion in which I was raised.
I believed in universal good, the divinity within all people, and valued the freedom in human thought over all. Suddenly I felt like my metaphorical chains were gone and I could make decisions that truly fulfilled me, so I decided to have sex with my boyfriend.
Of course, all nervousness aside, I was excited to enter into what I considered to be a new phase of my life and womanhood. But afterward I felt the tinge I remembered so vividly: that guilt and shame stemming from my impurity.
My sinful decision to defile my body, the spiritual vessel that belonged to God and God alone. How could I have done this to myself? The girl I was at 16 would have looked down upon this choice in major disappointment. The thing I had to realize, though, is that I wasn't that year-old anymore. I was a grown woman making her own choices and owning her sexuality. It took some time for me to reconcile the fact that I had made a normal adult decision with the shame I felt.
I analyzed where those feelings began, and identified ways to help me to reframe them. Understanding that my religious upbringing didn't have to remain the only path for my life instilled some real hope in me. I surrounded myself with understanding friends who, as long as I was safe and happy, showed me nothing but support in the decisions I made.
I educated myself in the area of sex positivity , and began to feel safe exploring my body and desires. A new sense of pride was gained in myself as a woman who chose how and when she enjoyed her body and sexuality. Now six years later, I feel no shame in the decisions I make as a grown woman, and I refuse to give ownership of my sensuality to anyone or anything else.
The bodily pleasures I enjoy are shared with none other than my partner. If more women waited until marriage, it could potentially stop this practice. However, because these men still dump them after the bedroom activities, these women are emotionally damaged and nature gets the last laugh. It takes these women several years, usually until their youthful looks are nearly gone, before they find the right man that does not treat them in this manner.
Scientific studies have also shown that not many women break their hymens through sports or falling as believed many years ago and very few women still have a hymen after engaging in sexual intercourse. Therefore, the presence of a hymen still is a very regarded indicator of virginity. It is ludicrous to attempt to persuade women to engage in pre-marital intercourse on the basis of a few rare scientific events.
For the most part, if a woman has a hymen, she is a virgin. I cannot wait until I give myself to my future husband and he has the proof of noticing the presence of a hymen to show that I waited for him for more than thirty years.
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